Life Afloat

Stoke Bruerne is a famous canalside village. It has a great pub called the Boat Inn, the canal museum, the entrance to Blisworth Tunnel nearby and best of all, when the hire boaters are out and about, it has great entertainment value.

I watched a man trying unsuccessfully to moor his narrowboat. He came in at every angle except the right one, bumped into the boat in front, revved and reversed back and forth for ages. His wife was shouting out very sensible advice like “just throw me the rope” – which of course he completely ignored.

I smiled but couldn’t help casting my mind back a year and a half. I’d only had Bristol Fashion a couple of days and could hardly steer her in a straight line. When I reached Stoke Bruerne I got out the boat but left her in forward gear. She headed off without me and crashed into the lock gate. There were a lot of people watching and I felt very very foolish.

Maybe that’s what draws all the tourists to Stoke Bruerne. It’s not to wander around the picture postcard canal village; it’s to gongoozle at the first-time boaters making complete arses of themselves.

At www2.mihalis.net/canal/cgi-bin/index.cgi (a shorter, more memorable URL would be nice) you’ll find Canal Planner, an incredibly versatile journey-planning website backed by a comprehensive database of waterways features.

I’ve only made relatively short trips on just a few waterways so I never used it before; a copy of the relevant Nicholson’s guide was sufficient. But now I’m considering taking Bristol Fashion up to Yorkshire and have a choice of routes, Canal Planner is proving very useful. I now know that there are twice as many locks going via Stoke on Trent than via Nottingham. I have some idea of how long it will take and where would be good places along the way to stop for the night.

There are so many options – size of boat, your usual cruising speed and so on – but Canal Planner doesn’t calculate how much longer it takes if you stop off at every canalside pub on the way.

The Nicholson guides are absolutely invaluable to boaters. The one for the Grand Union Canal is always open on the dashboard while I’m driving.

• They show the route of the canal, which side the towpath is on, the location of locks and winding holes and boatyards and marinas.
• They also list canalside pubs, drinking being something of a hobby for many boaters, especially if the pubs have their own moorings and real ale. Car drivers would, you hope, refrain from going to the pub during a journey but it’s part and parcel of boating.
• The writers of the guides are also a bit church-obsessed and never fail to mention if there’s a nice set of 15th century brasses nearby.

So, great guides. However, if you try to arrange to meet someone they are next to useless. Try telling a car owner with an AA road map that you’ll meet them by bridge number 129, you know, it’s next to lock 38.

It’s great to have crossed the hills and left all those locks behind. Marsworth had several locks every mile but from Fenny Stratford there’s mile after mile of uninterrupted cruising.

It’s tempting to drive fast. Nearly came a cropper earlier when, while driving at speed, something caught in the propellor and the boat swung suddenly towards the towpath. It’s tricky to know what to do in that situation because boats don’t maneuvre well in reverse: do I rev up and try to swing the boat so she hits the towpath side on; or put her hard in reverse to minimise the crunch? I did both and got away with a slight bump. Not that a crash would damage a steel narrowboat boat, but the crockery might go flying.

The landscape is a bit repetitive around Milton Keynes. It’s nice enough, with trees lining the towpath and plenty of parkland, but it all gets a bit Groundhog Day after a while. Didn’t I already go under this bridge? Didn’t I pass those houses earlier? Still, Milton Keynes is great for shopping and I picked up a new leisure battery and an offcut of carpet that fits the lounge perfectly.

Spent last night in Marsworth. Was tired after working so many locks since Berkhamsted. So I had a pint in the White Lion then an early night.

Set off early this morning in the company of a lovely traditional narrowboat called Sabrina which was headed for Braunston. With the sun shining we worked lock after lock, about 11 in all, leaving the Chiltern hills behind. The good views and the attractiveness of the locks made up for the exertion involved.

Bristol Fashion’s at Linslade now, where I’ve moored next to a building with a strong unsecured wifi signal. After six hours’ cruising, it’s time to get a few hours’ work done.

Interested in boat-building? Take a look at the Craft a Craft website which has a custom Google search engine for finding boat-building information.

After several weeks stuck in first Watford then Hemel Hempstead, neither places I would ever choose to stay, it felt good to arrive in Berkhamsted, a lovely small town that I’ve visited many times on walks with my family.

The work on Boxmoor lock that was scheduled to be completed Friday was actually completed on Sunday and the lock reopened Monday morning. I rang British Waterways and told them I was really pleased, especially since the workmen had been busy in all weathers; the person who answered the phone sounded surprised and said they don’t often get thank yous.

The rain has gone, the sun’s shining and I’m sat on the roof of the boat with my laptop. There’s a good wireless signal so I can get some work done. I know a cosy cafe where later I can sit and read the papers. Might stay a few days.

This gentleman kindly helped open and close the swing bridge at Hemel for me. Seeing as this prevents traffic from using the road, it would have been hard to operate single-handed without testing the patience of local drivers.